December 29, 1995......A Time of Reflection

This was a year not to be forgotten! It was December, 1995. A few days prior to Christmas, my daddy was sick and went into the hospital with a hiatal hernia and bronchitis. We thought it would be a quick in and out, but that wasn’t to be. While in the hospital, he developed pneumonia. We went to visit him three days before Christmas in the hospital. He was alert and doing pretty well. He was on general medication/antibiotics, etc., but no pain medication. Therefore, we didn’t really understand what he meant when he said, “Do you see them? They are here to get me, but I’m not ready.” Then, daddy laughed and said, “But, I will be ready when they come back.”

By Christmas Eve, I was sick with the flu and was running a high fever. On Christmas Day, I wasn’t even able to get out of bed. I was so upset because I missed seeing my mama and daddy and also couldn’t even be with my children. The day after Christmas was mama and daddy’s wedding anniversary. I was able to call the hospital, but not well enough yet to go. On the 27^th, I was determined to go to the hospital. I left Ashleigh and Michael with Larry’s mama, Memama. It’s very rare that I would not take them with me…..but, little did I know there was a reason that would play-out later.

I was so happy to spend the whole day at the hospital with mama and daddy. Daddy had several friends and preachers come by and pray over him. I felt so blessed to be there. As it got later, I called Larry and told him that I was about to head home to Luverne from Montgomery. He didn’t want me making the trip that late….that was before everyone having a cell phone. So, I told him that I would spend the night. My cousin, Billy, and his daughter, Candace “Candy”, came by and visited for a while. They made daddy laugh and we had the best time. After they left, I sat at the foot of daddy’s bed and we talked through the night off and on. I had a bottle of hand lotion in my purse and I rubbed his feet with it. He loved that!

By 8:00 the next morning, the reason I was meant to come by myself and spend the night started to reveal itself. My mama got a call that my grandmother….my mama’s mama….who we called Ma-Ma….was taken by ambulance from the nursing home to Saint Margaret’s Hospital. Mama and I immediately left and I drove us to the hospital where Ma-Ma was being treated in the emergency room. Ma-Ma was a strong, healthy woman, except she suffered from Alzheimer’s Disease. They put her in a side-room that was private from the main emergency room as they had concluded that she was not going to make it. She continued to flat-line over and over, but each time her heart would start back. Finally, they cut the monitor off so we would not have to keep hearing her try to hang-on to life. I know this might sound strange; however, I had prayed for years that I would be with my Ma-Ma when she crossed over into eternity. I had always heard that “your life flashes before your eyes at death” and I wanted to be there if she remembered. I don’t know if that happened or not, but I did hear her spirit escape her body. That was a sound I had never heard before or since.

Now, my mama….an only child….had just lost her mama and her husband, her forever rock….is in the hospital sick and weaker now than when he arrived. When we told daddy that Ma-Ma had past, he broke into uncontrollable crying. His heart was broken. He and mama had taken care of Ma-Ma in their home until they could no longer do so and then, they drove from Ramer to Montgomery every day to visit her in the nursing home. He loved her deeply! Since mama needed to stay with daddy, it was up to me to go buy Ma-Ma a dress and I also wanted to purchase a small Bible for her to hold in her hands. I had to be strong for them….just as Ma-Ma had always been a strong presence in my life.

Later that night, I made it back to the hospital. My brother and family had been up earlier, but I didn’t get to see them. As my brother started to leave….and I learned this later….daddy called him over and told John that he was going to be different by the next morning. He told John that he was going to be much better. Daddy was asleep when I got to the hospital. I kept looking at him as he was lying there on his left side. I wanted so much to wake him to give him a kiss and tell him that I would see him in the morning. The next morning, we had to go to the funeral home and make plans for Ma-Ma’s funeral arrangements. We were blessed that she had pre-paid and pre-planned most of her arrangements so there wasn’t a lot left that we had to do. But, I decided to not wake him and I left the hospital around 10:00 pm. I thought it would be best for him to get his sleep.

Around 1:45 am, I received a gargled phone call as the reception wasn’t clear. It was from one of my cousins and I couldn’t make out what they were trying to tell me. I immediately called the hospital and explained to them that I had received a call from my cousin regarding Johnny Harrod, but I couldn’t understand what they were telling me. The person on the other end of the phone told me OVER THE PHONE that my daddy had just passed away! I went into complete melt-down. I was in denial and totally shut-down. I melted into the floor and couldn’t get myself up. Larry called our minister, brother Kenny Payne, and he came to our home in the middle of the night. He tried to console me as did my family, but I was not to be consoled at that time.

We finally make it from Luverne to Jackson’s Hospital in Montgomery around 5:00 am. They had kept daddy in his room….waiting for me to arrive. My daddy was gone! He was cold, lifeless! I was a daddy’s girl and he was now gone from my life. It was unbearable! Now, my poor, sweet mama had lost her mama and 17 hours later, she lost the love of her life….her classmate, her boyfriend, her husband. Her rock was gone. We all said our good-byes, then the funeral home came to pick daddy up.

Now, we had the task of going to the funeral home at 8:00 to plan Ma-Ma’s funeral…..just after also losing our daddy and mama’s husband. It was so hard! It was like living in a dream. This went on…..as we had Ma-Ma’s visitation….then, planned daddy’s funeral….buried Ma-Ma….had daddy’s visitation…..and then buried him on New Year’s Eve 1995. It was a rainy day and everyone had to use umbrellas at the grave. Two days we had to follow a hearse 35 miles from White Chapel Funeral Home to the Ramer Cemetery. After everyone had left the graveside, I walked back to the grave and by then it was getting dark and pouring down rain. I stood in the dark, in the pouring rain for what seemed hours. I could NOT leave him….I just couldn’t! I loved him SO MUCH!

I learned a short time later that daddy had woke-up and talked to mama before he passed away. He held her hand, told her that he loved her and told her that she was going to be ok. He squeezed her hand so tight that it literally broke one of her rings on her finger. He told her to lay down and get some sleep because she needed to be prepared for “tomorrow will be a big day.” Her roll-a-way bed was next to his and she laid down. The last words she heard him say was, “Lord, please give me rest, Lord please give me rest, Lord please give me rest.” Shortly thereafter, she heard him make a sound….she thought it was a snore or sound of him drifting to sleep. Actually, it was him being carried into eternity by the angels that he had so clearly seen come for him earlier….when he “wasn’t ready for them.”

For some reason, the hospital didn’t have a heart monitor on daddy; therefore, they did not get an alert, but a nurse came in and found that he had just passed away. He died from a myocardial infarction, a heart attack. Just a side-note, but daddy died in the very next room at Jackson’s Hospital to where his mama had passed away several years earlier.

For weeks and weeks, I would wake-up every Friday morning at 1:15 am. I didn’t really understand why because I had thought daddy died between 1:45 and 2:00 am. It took 6 weeks to get the official death notice…..and there is was in print….my daddy died on Friday morning, December 29, 1995 at 1:15 am.

Everything had to come together in just the right way for everything to happen as it did. For me to be able to spend my daddy’s last full night of life with him, to be with Ma-Ma when she passed, to be there for my mama, to being able to shop for my Ma-Ma….and then my daddy’s burial clothes. In the middle of that horrific storm, God showed His presence. He also showed my daddy His angels. What a beautiful gift!

My daddy and my Ma-Ma had lived their lives in preparation for the day when they would pass into eternity. It is my prayer that we will all be as prepared as they were. There are no second chances when our heart stops and we cross-over. I still miss them as I did 24 years ago when it was all fresh. I actually miss them more now because I have had more years, more birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmas’s…..more days without them. But, through His grace, mercy, and forgiveness, my hope is to see them again. What a grand Homecoming it will be!

Daddy was only 68 years old, but he was a diabetic; therefore, his organs were older than their years. Daddy was having problems with his legs and feet...neuropathy. He always prayed that he would not have to lose his legs and be in a wheelchair. Daddy was always so active, loved life, and enjoyed being on the go with mama. As hard as it was for us to lose daddy, God answered his prayers. He did not lose his legs and the last thing daddy asked for was rest....and God granted him exactly that. God is so good! He always shines light into our darkest situations. 

Barely over three years later, John and I lost our mama and my sister-in-law….John’s wife, Tam….three months after mama. But, that reflection is for another day.

"You do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." - James 4:14

Jesus the Christ came into this world – this fleeting, fallen, fickle world – and did the greatest thing that will ever be done…He gave His life so that we can have eternal life….if we will accept His grace-filled gift.

Time is precious. We are fragile. Life is short. 

Eternity is long. Every minute counts. 

Daddy and Mama

Daddy as a Flower Girl - Always making us laugh!

Ma-Ma Hood