CANCER: So Many Negatives...But I Have God Leading!
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR CONTINUED PRAYERS
The eternal God is Patricia's refuge,
and underneath are the everlasting arms.
He will drive out my enemies before me,
saying, ‘Destroy them!’
and underneath are the everlasting arms.
He will drive out my enemies before me,
saying, ‘Destroy them!’
Deuteronomy 33:27
Am I angry, upset, disappointed? Yes! Am I upset with my heavenly Father? Absolutely not! It is satan that I am at war against! He will attack in every way he can because he wants nothing more than to see a disciple of Jesus become disheartened and fall away from Him. Well, he can throw all the stones my way he wants, but he will NOT break me!
We deal every day with circumstances we did not
choose, but each day we can choose how we
respond to those circumstances.
On Tuesday, I had a Bone Density Test. Then, yesterday I had a check-up and consultation with my Radiation Oncologist, Dr. Susan Salter. All was very positive with that visit. She did not see anything or feel anything that was a negative. As a matter of fact, she said I had healed really well and looked great. So, that gave me a feeling of encouragement. Today, I had my check-up, blood-work, and consultation with Dr. Bondly. It came with news that was unexpected and extremely unwelcomed.
The good part of my check-up was that my chest was without issues....just as Dr. Salter said yesterday. However, my Bone Density Test came back with a diagnosis of Osteoporosis. Dr. Bondly said she did not expect to have this outcome. However, with the infused chemo, 6 months of oral chemo, along with other medications that I have had to take....and now, the "lifetime" hormone suppression pill....I am on, Osteoporosis is a side-effect. I did not realize until today that the "hormone suppression" pill I am on is also a chemo pill. It will not give me the Palmar-Plantar Erythrodysesthesia (Hand-Foot Syndrome); however, it does cause severe joint/bone/muscle pain, hair thinning/loss, hot flashes....and a few other nasties. I take a pill every day to help counter the joint and bone pain. I went from taking zero pills per day, except a vitamin, to a dozen pills per day since cancer. Dr. Bondly added two more medications today for the Osteoporosis. Dr. Bondly stressed that I had to be extremely careful not to fall. She said that my bones are fragile and if I fall....it might not end well. PLEASE PRAY....That I will keep my balance, be steady and will not trip and fall. I have been known to "drop and roll." LOL
Dr. Bondly checked to make sure I had my colonoscopy set-up and I confirmed that I will have it at St. Vincent's on February 13th. Not looking forward to this procedure, but I have to make sure that I don't have an polyps or issues there. PLEASE PRAY....No polyps - No issues!
UPDATE on Colonoscopy 2/19/20: I did have one polyp; however, received results today and.....NO CANCER! BENIGN! YAY! Thank you Jesus! Amen!
Prior to my beginning infused chemo, I had an EEG and an EKG to make sure my heart was strong enough to begin the chemo treatments. Everything checked out fine at that time. Around 3 weeks ago, I felt really bad all day and I just couldn't shake it. I tried to brush it off that it might be a virus; however, I was having a heaviness in my chest and also pains in my left arm. I took a couple of aspirin and ended up going to bed early. In the middle of the night, I woke-up throwing-up and vomited profusely three times. After that episode, I did start to feel better the next day. When I was on infused chemo, it gave me Pneumonitis in my lungs. I had to take oxygen at night and anytime during the day that my oxygen levels dropped. I am still having problems breathing (which is also normal with chemo); however, when walking up and down stairs or any distance, my breathing becomes labored and my chest gets very heavy and sometimes that is combined with chest pain. Therefore, the next news I received today is that I am being scheduled to go to a Cardiologist. Another possible side-effect of chemo is damage to the heart. Dr. Bondly wants me checked-out by a specialist to see if any damage has occurred or not. PLEASE PRAY....No Damage!
Dr. Bondly is also referring me to a doctor who can take a look at my "female" area....ovaries, uterus, etc. to make sure I get an all clear there.
I developed high-blood pressure soon after I was diagnosed with Bilateral Breast Cancer; therefore had to go to a doctor for that and I have been on a blood pressure medication and a water pill every since. I also have to see her for a check-up this month.
Over the course of the past 16 months, while dealing with cancer and treatments....I have been almost continuously fighting one or multiple horrific side-effects at a time. Along with not being able to be very mobile and also the medication side-effects that cause weight gain....I have put on 15+ pounds. Now, it has become an issue and along with everything else....I have got to get on a regular walking/work-out routine and my diet has to change.
I am a vegetarian, but because I have a hormone based cancer...it is a MUST that I limit soy and tofu. That is not going to be easy and those are not the only foods that cause higher levels of estrogen/progesterone. You even have to watch anything you put on your body....lotions, body wash, shampoo, cream rinse, etc. All of those absorb into our porous skin and many do change our hormone levels.
After my Bilateral Mastectomy, I started having extreme pain in my right shoulder. I can only imagine that when I was strapped-down for surgery, my rotary cuff was stretched too far. Dr. Bondly sent me to an Orthopedic Specialist and I found out that I not only had a torn rotary cuff, but also a torn meniscus in my left knee. I have had to take a series of shots to help ease the pain; however, it really has not helped very much....and the cost is very expensive. Dr. Elkus did not want to have to perform surgery at this time because of everything else I have and am going through. So, don't know what my future looks like where that is concerned.
I know that I am sharing a LOT of detail; however, I want people to realize that when a person has cancer....cancer is not the only battle or issue they are having to deal with. Life changes....ALL of life changes! And, no matter how much you do to fight this horrific disease there is no 100% guarantee that it won't come back. Actually, the odds are extremely high that at some point, it will come back in another area of your body....either the bones, liver, lungs, or brain. That is why a cancer patient can NEVER be complacent, hope for the best, or stop fighting. Those are NOT options if you want to live. And I want to LIVE....not merely survive. I also want everyone to know and to see that no matter what a person is facing, as a believer, Jesus walks with you every step. He continues to pour-out His love and protection over you. He can heal all of our pain, illnesses, and sorrows. For, this is but a temporary life....He has offered a life that will last forever with a perfected body....and with no sorrow or tears Praise God!
SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO POUR-OUT YOUR HEART, SHED A FEW TEARS, THEN PULL YOURSELF BACK UP AND CONTINUE ON.....THAT'S WHAT WE DO!
One of the greatest issues I have had to deal with, and I am not the only one, is a lack of income. I had to stop working in December 2018. I was a nanny and also made jewelry for sale. I finally have my hands back to where I can create again; however, having cancer has dug a financial hole for me. I try not to talk about money issues because I know that no one really wants to hear about my financial struggles because it is tough on everyone....and no one really wants to open-up about circumstances with money....I sure don't, but I have no choice at this point. I am in the process of transferring my jewelry that I had made prior to cancer from my Shopify website to a new Facebook page that I am creating. The financial burden has already been extreme, but now with all of the added doctors and tests this year, well...it’s just very tough. Cancer brings so much ugly with it!!!
I have a "GoFundMe" that Ashleigh set-up when I was first diagnosed to help with expenses. I have had some respond with gracious generosity and I am SO THANKFUL! Every financial gift has meant so much and has always come and just the right time. Any amount given would be a HUGE blessing to me. It is not money to throw-away....that is for sure! It is money that I need to sustain life until I can get back on my feet. Financial burdens are just another way that satan attempts to take a strong-hold in one's life.
"Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever."
Psalm 106:1
Dear Father, please give me faith to see the silver lining in any dark cloud. Show me how to discern Your wisdom and Your grace, even when all looks bleak. Lift me when I am feeling defeated by my health issues and life's challenges. It is said that with You all things are possible and You will never leave me alone. Help me to make my faith grow even stronger. When my financial stresses weigh me to the point of breaking, remind me that You will provide a way through those who are near and those who are able. Lead me where You desire, and I will be as an obedient child and I will follow, knowing that Your guidance will never steer me down the wrong path. You have blessed me so well and I know that You will continue. I put my complete trust and faith in You, my Precious Papa....just where it belongs. Because of Your Son and in His Name, Amen and Amen!
If you feel led to make a "love offering," to help pay toward my medical expenses.....all
assistance is appreciated.
I have so many doctor's visits/exams and tests coming up....not to mention that the last 16 months have depleted all that I had saved. The cost is a bit overwhelming.
THANK YOU FOR A FINANCIAL GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT
I have so many doctor's visits/exams and tests coming up....not to mention that the last 16 months have depleted all that I had saved. The cost is a bit overwhelming.
THANK YOU FOR A FINANCIAL GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT
GoFundMe Account:
It is said that if you have steadfast faith the size of one mere mustard seed that you can move a mountain high and place it where you see the need. It is said that having faith is the way to manifest the dreams you dare, but faith is far, far more that....it's knowing you're already there. I give Him my life and I trust Him with it....100%!
February 11, 2020 - Just got a call from Dr. Bondly's office. My Iron levels showed very low in my bloodwork. Therefore, she wanted me to come in for an Iron transfusion. I, however, talked them into allowing me to get an Iron prescription first and let me try that before having to get a transfusion. Praying this will take care of my deficiency.
#GodisLeading #BreastCancer #DoubleMastectomy
#GodisHealing #PrayforaCure #PrayerWarriors
#GodisHealing #PrayforaCure #PrayerWarriors
#BilateralBreastCancer
#GodisinControl #PrayingGrands
#PraiseGod #ThankYouJesus
#MyCancerWarisOn #MyGoalisCancerFree
#Orthopedic #Osteoporosis 
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