CANCER: Cancer is harsh and ugly, but God has spoken LIFE!
We have all had plans set, things we desire to do, places we have planned to visit....on and on, we have our plans. But, I am reminded by the fact that even at the first Christmas everyone certainly had plans set that were messed up by God because He had a bigger and better plan. When life doesn't work out the way we plan, the way we intended, God wants us to trust Him and the bigger plan He has already set in place for our lives.
Cancer seldom gives us warning. It rudely intrudes into our lives. When they said, "It is cancer," I went into a shock phase. It was like being awake in the middle of a nightmare, but yet there was also a strange calm. In this moment, I knew the only thing I could count on for sure to provide true lasting hope in my situation and alleviate my worse fears was knowing that Jesus loves me and wants the very best for me. Somehow...some way...I knew He would turn it all into good. I love this Scripture, this promise, and hold it close to my heart, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8
When faced with cancer, my mind traveled back to the Book of Job in the Bible. We learn from Job that bad things can, and indeed will, happen to all of God's people. Sometimes it is by no fault of our own, it might be due to the free will of others, suffering might simply be a cause and effect of life, but often it is satan trying to tempt us into wavering in our faith and relationship with Jesus. If he can get us to doubt God, to doubt His place, His plan, or blame God....then, satan has won. No matter the "why" of our circumstances, all Christians or devout believers will have to suffer tragedy, loss, health issues, and problems in this life. It is completely inescapable. However, it is up to each of us as to how we deal with where we find ourselves.
God allowed satan to tempt Job by taking his family, his wealth, and his health, but the one thing satan could not take from Job was his undying faith in God. And, in the end God blessed Job by doubling all that he had previously lost. We must trust in God that while we may suffer temporarily on Earth at times, as believers, we have an eternity of happiness and peace that awaits. A lifetime of suffering is nothing compared to an eternity of peace and happiness. God will give us more than double for our suffering! We have eternity with no more sin or hurt. Thank You, God, for Your mercy, love, and life everlasting.
Satan can set his schemes and snares against us, but he is powerless without God giving His approval. Just as we see with Job, God gave satan permission to do all he did against Job; however, God also set a limit as to how far satan could go. In Job 2:6 we read God telling satan, "All right, do with him as you please, but spare his life." Job could do whatever he wanted up to the point of taking Job's life and that was not permitted. I believe that cancer is of satan. It is a tool he uses to try to tear-down our bodies, our minds, our strength, our faith, and our resolve. He can take us to a point, but it is God and His plan that has the final say.
I am 2 months and 17 days removed from the day I heard the words, "You have Bilateral Breast Cancer." I have already had 2 months of chemo and will, in a few days, begin a new type of chemo treatment. There are ugly realities that come with cancer and cancer treatments. Satan is whipping me with a mouth too sore to consume food most of the time. I sit and cry while trying to eat because the pain is so intense. Everything sets it on fire! I either cannot taste or everything I eat taste horrible. In addition, my mouth is split open on both sides and that makes simply opening my mouth an effort. My throat feels as if it is ripped half the time and the excessive coughing and gagging does not help it at all. I usually experience a couple of days after chemo that is known as "chemo brain." You function a bit in a fog, thinking is slower, and sometimes you can just sit for long periods of time with basically no thought....you just sit. But, for me, that does not last long and when I feel it, I push myself to stay active. The toilet is one of my closest "friends." It is difficult to leave home as I cannot get too far from a bathroom. I have diarrhea to constipation and back to diarrhea almost the entire time between treatments....so, that never really lets up. You can only imagine the painful results from that. My skin is aging and wrinkling in rapid time like a prune as I cannot get my skin hydrated. It is so dry that even touching my flesh is painful at times. Most of my body hair is gone now; although, I have a few sparse eyebrows left and my once luscious eyelashes....well, I still have a few hanging on. My body is covered in raw red patches and blisters and they are mixed in with dry flaky, skin. Not to mention, I am swollen like a stuffed pig ready to pop! My new reality is taking a plethora of pills that, heretofore, I never have taken. I went from no pills a day, except a multiple vitamin, to over 10 pills a day. Sleep, well, that is another thing to deal with. I wake up multiple times a night....often from crazy nightmare dreams. Sometimes I am able to go right back to sleep...and other times I might just lay there for an hour or more. I am including a few pics from my arms, chest, and legs to show an example of the breakout on my skin.
I fell a "little" bit like Job. No way can I ever compare my situation to Job; however, it is my story and my journey. Just as Job, I will not waver and I will not fall. God is leading my journey and He is lifting me above the bad. Chemo is rearing its ugly head through signs all over within and on the outside of my body, but as I suffer through, I know that God is using this poison to defeat the evil cancer that satan meant for my harm. Just as God told satan, he could not take the life of His son, Job....He has told satan that he cannot take the life of His daughter, Patricia. God has already spoke LIFE over me so I have nothing to fear.
I don't have to spend an ounce of energy concerning myself with the "what ifs" of my circumstances. I know that God has already gone before me and has His plan in motion. He is forging a new purpose, a greater purpose, for my life. I will serve Him better, shine brighter for Him, and use this trial as a living testimony of what He can do when we have even the faith of a mustard seed.
I have friends and family who care for me, love me, and are lifting me before our gracious Father everyday. I am so very blessed! Thank you all for your continued prayers. They are healing me through Him!
A harsh reality of the vengeance chemo is taking on my skin....these are from my arms, legs, and chest.
Cancer seldom gives us warning. It rudely intrudes into our lives. When they said, "It is cancer," I went into a shock phase. It was like being awake in the middle of a nightmare, but yet there was also a strange calm. In this moment, I knew the only thing I could count on for sure to provide true lasting hope in my situation and alleviate my worse fears was knowing that Jesus loves me and wants the very best for me. Somehow...some way...I knew He would turn it all into good. I love this Scripture, this promise, and hold it close to my heart, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8
When faced with cancer, my mind traveled back to the Book of Job in the Bible. We learn from Job that bad things can, and indeed will, happen to all of God's people. Sometimes it is by no fault of our own, it might be due to the free will of others, suffering might simply be a cause and effect of life, but often it is satan trying to tempt us into wavering in our faith and relationship with Jesus. If he can get us to doubt God, to doubt His place, His plan, or blame God....then, satan has won. No matter the "why" of our circumstances, all Christians or devout believers will have to suffer tragedy, loss, health issues, and problems in this life. It is completely inescapable. However, it is up to each of us as to how we deal with where we find ourselves.
God allowed satan to tempt Job by taking his family, his wealth, and his health, but the one thing satan could not take from Job was his undying faith in God. And, in the end God blessed Job by doubling all that he had previously lost. We must trust in God that while we may suffer temporarily on Earth at times, as believers, we have an eternity of happiness and peace that awaits. A lifetime of suffering is nothing compared to an eternity of peace and happiness. God will give us more than double for our suffering! We have eternity with no more sin or hurt. Thank You, God, for Your mercy, love, and life everlasting.
Satan can set his schemes and snares against us, but he is powerless without God giving His approval. Just as we see with Job, God gave satan permission to do all he did against Job; however, God also set a limit as to how far satan could go. In Job 2:6 we read God telling satan, "All right, do with him as you please, but spare his life." Job could do whatever he wanted up to the point of taking Job's life and that was not permitted. I believe that cancer is of satan. It is a tool he uses to try to tear-down our bodies, our minds, our strength, our faith, and our resolve. He can take us to a point, but it is God and His plan that has the final say.
I am 2 months and 17 days removed from the day I heard the words, "You have Bilateral Breast Cancer." I have already had 2 months of chemo and will, in a few days, begin a new type of chemo treatment. There are ugly realities that come with cancer and cancer treatments. Satan is whipping me with a mouth too sore to consume food most of the time. I sit and cry while trying to eat because the pain is so intense. Everything sets it on fire! I either cannot taste or everything I eat taste horrible. In addition, my mouth is split open on both sides and that makes simply opening my mouth an effort. My throat feels as if it is ripped half the time and the excessive coughing and gagging does not help it at all. I usually experience a couple of days after chemo that is known as "chemo brain." You function a bit in a fog, thinking is slower, and sometimes you can just sit for long periods of time with basically no thought....you just sit. But, for me, that does not last long and when I feel it, I push myself to stay active. The toilet is one of my closest "friends." It is difficult to leave home as I cannot get too far from a bathroom. I have diarrhea to constipation and back to diarrhea almost the entire time between treatments....so, that never really lets up. You can only imagine the painful results from that. My skin is aging and wrinkling in rapid time like a prune as I cannot get my skin hydrated. It is so dry that even touching my flesh is painful at times. Most of my body hair is gone now; although, I have a few sparse eyebrows left and my once luscious eyelashes....well, I still have a few hanging on. My body is covered in raw red patches and blisters and they are mixed in with dry flaky, skin. Not to mention, I am swollen like a stuffed pig ready to pop! My new reality is taking a plethora of pills that, heretofore, I never have taken. I went from no pills a day, except a multiple vitamin, to over 10 pills a day. Sleep, well, that is another thing to deal with. I wake up multiple times a night....often from crazy nightmare dreams. Sometimes I am able to go right back to sleep...and other times I might just lay there for an hour or more. I am including a few pics from my arms, chest, and legs to show an example of the breakout on my skin.
I fell a "little" bit like Job. No way can I ever compare my situation to Job; however, it is my story and my journey. Just as Job, I will not waver and I will not fall. God is leading my journey and He is lifting me above the bad. Chemo is rearing its ugly head through signs all over within and on the outside of my body, but as I suffer through, I know that God is using this poison to defeat the evil cancer that satan meant for my harm. Just as God told satan, he could not take the life of His son, Job....He has told satan that he cannot take the life of His daughter, Patricia. God has already spoke LIFE over me so I have nothing to fear.
I don't have to spend an ounce of energy concerning myself with the "what ifs" of my circumstances. I know that God has already gone before me and has His plan in motion. He is forging a new purpose, a greater purpose, for my life. I will serve Him better, shine brighter for Him, and use this trial as a living testimony of what He can do when we have even the faith of a mustard seed.
I have friends and family who care for me, love me, and are lifting me before our gracious Father everyday. I am so very blessed! Thank you all for your continued prayers. They are healing me through Him!
A harsh reality of the vengeance chemo is taking on my skin....these are from my arms, legs, and chest.
#GodisLeading #BreastCancer #DoubleMastectomy #IBelieve
#BeatCancer #GodisHealing #PrayforaCure #PrayerWarriors
#BilateralBreastCancer #BreastReconstruction #HeProtectsMe
#WhereHeLeadsIWillFollow #GodisinControl #GodisaGoodGod #PraiseGod #ThankYouJesus
#MyGoalisCancerFree #MyCancerWarisOn #CrushingCancer
#MyGoalisCancerFree #MyCancerWarisOn #CrushingCancer
#CancerWillNotWin #IAmBeingHealed #MyGoalisCancerFree
Oh my goodness! It is unreal what the chemo treatments can do to the body/flesh! Know that continued prayers to our heavenly FATHER go up daily in your behalf, Sister Patricia! Thank you for sharing your journey with us! I love you deeply, with the Love �� of the Lord!
ReplyDeleteThank you for being always by my side in this journey, my sweet soul sista. At the onset of my diagnosis, I knew that I wanted to go public with my journey. I believe it is important for those who have never had cancer or dealt with cancer to see the "inside reality" of what many of us experience. Jesus wants us to be people of passion and compassion and I hope that seeing the ugly of cancer and treatments will soften the hearts of those who have never had this disease touch their lives. Perhaps they will be better servants, encouragers, and prayer warriors. Love you.
DeleteOh, Patricia,
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you night and day. I never knew what chemo could do to your body. I am praying that you don’t get the irreversible side effects from your Taxotere during the next four treatments. The surgery will be so much easier than chemo.
You are making your cancer “count” for the glory of God. You are using each of your side effects to prove God’s love for you and your trust in Him. You are an example I hope to follow in my own life. Praying all of God’s blessings on you.
With love and admiration
You are so sweet, dear sister. I do not believe in glazing over the ugly, harsh realities of cancer and chemo. Many people, whether intentional or not, seem to pass along guilt and judgment when you speak real truths. They act as if you are leaving God out of the equation and/or you do not have sufficient faith. That is so far from the truth. If we make this horrible disease known as cancer seem less than it is....God will not receive His full glory when He heals us. God is an amazing God and His love is so deep for His children. He deserves the highest praise and glory when He brings us through the fire. Love you.
DeletePrayers!!!💞😘
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Prayers are needed and greatly appreciated.
DeleteYour words brought to life your suffering and your faith and I prayed for you. My first thought was trying to imagine suffering without faith. God is using you to touch others by sharing your story of living with the unforgiving, despicable disease called cancer. May your journey soon become one of no pain and complete healing. I continue to keep you in my prayers...
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much! I could NOT fathom traveling this journey with cancer if I did not have my faith. It is knowing that Jesus is walking this journey, carries me on horrible days, and is healing me with a earthly healing that I can live each day with no worry whether or not I will survive. That thought has really never crossed my mind. From day one, I knew He set my course for being a cancer survivor. My heart literally hurts for those going through cancer and other diseases who do not know the love of Jesus. That's a very sad place to be. Thank you for your continued prayers.
Delete