CANCER: Dark Days with the "Demon" Cancer....BUT God Shines Through! Amen!

Yesterday was a day filled with so many different emotions, senses, and information over-load....yet, so many unknowns. I had a scheduled appointment with my Oncologist, Dr. Cara Bondly for my follow-up since my last chemo treatment on January 23rd. She gave me a brief check-up and did lab work. Since I was only one week out from my bilateral mastectomy, there wasn't much for her to check physically. She did go over the pathology report from my surgery with me. 

I was very disappointed to learn that following chemotherapy treatments there were still "live/active" cancer cells in one of the five lymph nodes that were removed during surgery. They were only 2 mm; however, they were active and the report could not definitively tell me if I have a live cell/cells that could have moved outside of the lymph node. At this point, we know that IF that has happened it would be very small and might not show up or be detectable for some time. 

I further learned that I had a second type of cancer that we were unaware of prior to surgery. I was diagnosed with Estrogen Receptor and Progesterone Receptor Positive. This is a hormone based breast cancer. I was Stage 3 because the biopsies showed that I had active cancer in at least one lymph node. The pathology report also showed that I have/had Ductal Carcinoma In Situ Cancer. This means the cells that line the milk ducts of the breast have become cancer, but they have not spread into surrounding breast tissue. It is considered non-invasive or pre-invasive breast cancer. I am scheduled for 30 rounds of radiation on my right side; however, now that the DCIS has been diagnosed on the left side; although it has been removed, I might or might not have to also have radiation on my left side. At this point, all cancerous areas - breast tissue, ducts, and 5 lymph nodes - have been removed.

In addition to the 30 rounds of radiation that Dr. Bondly said I would need, she has also stated that I would need to be on a hormone blocker chemotherapy pill for five (5) years. It is called Femara or is known by its generic name, Letrozole. Letrozole is used to help prevent the cancer from returning. Some breast cancers, like what I had, is made to grow faster by the natural hormone, estrogen. Letrozole decreases the amount of estrogen the body makes and helps to slow or reverse the growth of these breast cancers. Of course, in my case, it will be taken to help prevent my cancer from returning. Dr. Bondly said it will cut the risk by approximately 50%. Therefore, I will probably begin taking Letrozole after I complete my radiation. 

Some of the side-effects of Femara/Letrozole are:

Hot Flashes       Hair Loss         Joint/Bone/Muscle Pain
Tiredness          Nausea             Fast Heartrate
Heart Attack     Diarrhea           Dizziness
Weight Gain     Constipation     Numbness/Stiffness Hands/Fingers

I have prayed that I would not have to go through chemo ever again, but looks like....for now....I am going to have to take another chemo drug. Dr. Bondly told me yesterday that although it only gives me an approximate 5% of my cancer not reoccurring, it is a drug that I should take. It is called Xeloda (Generic Name: Capecitabine) and I will be on it for 6 months....IF I can tolerate it and its side-effects. I will be on it for two weeks, off a week, on it for two weeks, off for a week and so on. Dr. Bondly is working very hard to try to give me the best outcome with the least percentage for my cancer returning. 

Some of the side-effects of Xeloda are:


Compromised Immune System         Hair Thinning/Loss    
Decreased Neutrophils A Type of White Blood Cell    
Stomatitis: Painful, Red Mouth/Swollen Mouth/Mouth Sores          
Neurotoxicity: Damage to the brain or nervous system
Severe nausea and/vomiting              Stomach pain/upset    
Loss of Appetite                                 Anemia
Back/Joint/Muscle Pain                     Low Blood Counts                    Tiredness                                            Headaches
Weakness                                           Risk of Bleeding 
Tingling, Pain, Redness and Edema of Hands and Feet
Break-out on arms, legs, chest           Heart Attack/Sudden Death

PLEASE - PLEASE - PLEASE PRAY WITH ME ABOUT TAKING THIS DRUG. THE RISKS ARE SO HIGH FOR A LOW PERCENTAGE OF BENEFIT......ONLY 5% REWARD IN HELPING THE CANCER NOT RETURN

PLEASE PRAY THAT GOD WILL GIVE ME THE ANSWER

I am CRUSHED to think about traveling down this road again! I have already experienced so many of these side-effects with the chemo drug Taxotere and I felt at times like it was going to kill me...and actually could have.  

PLEASE God give direction...lead me to make the right decision....to take the right path.

I had an appointment set for Dr. Thomas, my breast surgeon, at the Breast Care Center for today, March 13th; however, since I was close by at the Bruno Cancer Center, they told me to come and they would work me in. Ashleigh has been keeping my four drain lines and drain bags emptied and measured since we left the hospital. She has had to do this three times a day for each line. They have all started to have less output....especially number one and two on my left side. On the right side, the blood has got darker and bits of thicker blood has been coming through the lines...especially in number 3. 

They worked me in pretty quickly. Dr. Thomas was in surgery; therefore, I saw one of the nurses. I also met with Dr. Thomas' partner, Dr. Susan Winchester. Since drains 1 and 2 were barely putting out any blood/fluid, she definitely wanted to go ahead and remove them. When looking closer at my number 3 and 4 drains on my right side, they noticed that something looked abnormal and ordered a sonogram. They found that I have a sizable hematoma/blood-clot above the right incision. 

When the nurse and Dr. Winchester looked at my drains on the right, the nurse committed that she was having a problem with getting the stitches released. There were both internal and external stitches. Dr. Winchester and the nurse whispered to each other; however, I could not understand them.....I knew something was wrong. The nurse told me that she wasn't going to be my friend and Dr. Winchester told me to take a deep breath and then blow. I thought I was going to totally lose it!!!!! The pain was EXCRUCIATING!!!!! Dr. Winchester said it was out....and I asked both? And, she said, "No, only one of them!" Then, she repeated again and again I thought I was going to lose it......the pain was EXCRUCIATING!!!!! After that horrifically painful experience, then Dr. Winchester decided to go ahead and remove the drains as they appeared to mainly be blocked. Before doing so, the nurse when to get the drain records from Ashleigh and she told Ashleigh that if she wanted to, she could come in the room with me. I was trembling from pain at that point. I hated for her to be in there and to see me in so much pain. However, PRAISE GOD, the right side drain tube stitching had NOT attached to my skin and they released and came out without any severe pain. PRAISE GOD! Dr. Winchester prescribed me an antibiotic, Ciprofloxacin 500 mg tablets to take one tablet twice a day for five days. Since I have the blood-clot, four open drain holes, and new incisions from my bilateral mastectomy.....Dr. Winchester decided to prescribe me this antibiotic. She was also in touch with my personal doctor, Dr. Princess Thomas, while she was in surgery via telephone. She further instructed me to sit with a heating pad on my chest, on low, for at least an hour and a half each morning and again each evening. She is hoping this will help to dissolve the blood-clot. Dr. Winchester, prior to leaving the room, gave Ashleigh directions on how to keep my open wound areas cleaned and bandaged.

The nurse, doctor, and other medical professionals left the room for me to get dressed. Ashleigh, my precious daughter, held me and prayed over me. I was still very shook-up from the pain I had experienced when having the attached drains ripped from my left side. 

WOW....what a day!!! Filled with pain, disappointment, some good news, some decisions to be made.....stepping, stepping, stepping....taking one step at a time ever moving forward and following God's leading! Walking in the footsteps of Jesus! Leaning in to Him, praying, listening.....waiting. Waiting for guidance, direction, and trusting in Him to provide the answers. 

New Appointments and Follow-up Appointments:

I have been given a Consultation Appointment with Dr. Susan Salter. She will be my Radiation Oncologist at the Bruno Cancer Center. I am scheduled to meet with her on March 20th at 1:15 pm.

I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Princess Thomas on March 27th at 10:10 am. 

I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Cara Bondly on April 25th at 11:30 am.

I also have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Jason Fain, my Pulmonary Specialist, on May 8th.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO LIFT ME IN YOUR PRAYERS!!!

Cancer is evil! Cancer is of the devil! 

Cancer is ugly - painful - heartbreaking - destructive!

There is NOTHING good about cancer, but blessings....His precious blessings can shine through even in our darkest hours!

God is Faithful! God is Loving! God is Healing!

God listens....He hears YOUR prayers....He is answering!

I am Strong in my Fight! 

I am Confident in the One Who Gives Life!

I Love YOU God! I Love YOU Jesus! I Love YOU Holy Spirit!

#GodisLeading   #BreastCancer  #DoubleMastectomy  #IBelieve

#BeatCancer  #GodisHealing  #PrayforaCure   #PrayerWarriors

#BilateralBreastCancer  #BreastReconstruction  
#HeProtectsMe   #WhereHeLeadsIWillFollow  

#GodisinControl #PrayingGrands   #GodisaGoodGod  
#PraiseGod   #ThankYouJesus
#Taxotere #MyGoalisCancerFree #MyCancerWarisOn  

#CrushingCancer  #CancerWillNotWin   #IAmBeingHealed  

#MyGoalisCancerFree  #Pulmonary