CANCER: Radiation Mapping - Restrained (No Fun) Take THREE

On April 3rd, I went to Radiation Oncology in the Bruno Cancer Center to have my radiation mapping done for my post-mastectomy radiation therapy. Even after removal of the entire breast or breasts, it does not eliminate the risk of recurrence in the remaining tissues of the chest wall or lymph nodes. In most cases the risk of recurrence is high enough that radiation is recommended after a mastectomy. 

I have been preparing for this day by doing many various arm exercises. After surgery, you start out by raising your arms only to the level of having them parallel with the floor. Then, you gradually start to raise them higher and work also on getting more motion and movement. Under each arm, where the lymph nodes were removed and the drains came out, it felt like I was going to rip something each time I tried to stretch. It felt like tight rubber bands were going to pop as I would attempt to stretch my arms higher. 

I learned that what I was experiencing is relatively normal. It is auxiliary web syndrome. This is also called cording. It is rope-like tissue structures that form under the skin of the arms. It can cause a lot of restriction. Not only does it happen following surgery, but can also reoccur in the future without warning. 

I met with two Radiation Technicians, Jessica and Sonya. They were extremely nice and prepared me for the process. I had to put on a gown that tied in the back; however, they have to pull the front of the gown down to your waste during the mapping. Positioning is extremely important in radiation therapy. Your body is positioned in a way to get the best radiation treatment. I will be in the same position during every treatment......and I have to remain completely still. It made me feel nervous to even take a breath because when you are lying down and take in deep breathes, your body moves. 

To stabilize my position, I was asked to lie on a immobilization device on the treatment table. There was something like a bean bag that went from slightly below my shoulder blades to slightly over my head. I also had a device placed under my knees to help keep them in place and also provide comfort in the position. I had to place both of my arms over my head and hold on to a bar. They asked if I was in the position that I wanted to be in. When I said "yes" the technicians began to remove air from the bean bag positioning device. Then, it became a hard mold. 

Very careful planning is necessary before radiation treatments can begin. The planning ensures "hopefully" that I will get the full benefit of radiation with minimal impact on other part of my body. During the planning session, a Radiation Oncologist maps out the breast area that needs treatment. My Radiation Technicians, Ella and Sonya, used a special X-ray machine called a simulator....and the process is called simulation....because the treatment is being "simulated." Dr. Salter had told me in advance to expect for my mapping to take as much as an hour and a half....with my arms over my head....because of having bilateral breast cancer....it would take longer than those who only had one breast with cancer. 

It was tough enough to raise my arms over my head, but to hold on to a bar for an hour or more.....I was concerned if I could do it. I was still having issues with the hematoma and pain and pulling under both arms from the lymph node removals. I kept talking to God and imagined reaching up to Him. I thought of my grandchildren, how much I love them, and that I was going to get through this procedure and beat cancer completely for them. They kept putting me through the machine....all the while not really wanting me to hardly breathe. My right arm started hurting almost immediately, but I had to deal with it. I have also had shoulder issues every since my arms were restrained for surgery.

Well, Dr. Sawyer came in to start the markings that needed to be put on my chest down almost to my navel, also down my sides and across my chest. She very sternly told me again that my hematoma did not need to change after mapping was done or that would mess up everything and they would have to map again. She said it to me as if I had control over it. She made a few markings and then the technicians started marking. 

It is such a precise process so it does take a while. After going through the simulator X-ray machine several minutes, they stopped and said we were going to take a break for one of the Radiation Planners, Anna, to go in the booth and look at my images. They wanted me to continue to keep my arms over my head during this wait. A few minutes passed and the technicians told me that some of my markings had to come off and they were going to have to re-do them. Also they had to let air go back in the bean back mold so it could soften and they could make a slightly different mold. 

The first images taken showed that if I was having radiation, it would be hitting areas that did not need to be touched by the radiation beam. My underarms and a place on my shoulder had to be covered. I was told that if my underarms received radiation, it would cause me to burn there and if the radiation hit my shoulders, it could cause brittle bone. So......here we go again....EXCEPT, this time the technicians placed hand towels under my arms and across my shoulders. THEN, they proceeded to bind my arms and hands with heavy tape to the metal bar over my head. Oh yeah....they also had to raise my arms even higher, further back, to help prevent me getting radiation where I did not need it. 

Okay.....I have claustrophobia....seriously! I have to work myself through it if I am on a elevator or on a plane, etc. This was really freaking me out inside and since they didn't want any movement....I felt as if I could NOT get a deep breath. Then, a panic took over inside. WOW....I really had to mentally start back-peddling and get my mind into a different place really fast. I had hoped that they would have music in there or that I would wear headphones and play music on my phone, but it wasn't set-up for that. I just had to deal with it. They sent me through the simulator for several minutes again. 

Anna came back to the booth and studied the images again. AGAIN, there was still some area that needed more coverage. I was so disappointed to think that I was about to go through this for the third time. The process was all repeated and I had to go through it again. The third time was the charm and I was FINALLY through! HOWEVER, Anna came out of the booth and explained again why I had to be covered and had to have my arms and hands restrained. BUT, she didn't stop there. She told me that I would have to be in that position everyday for the next six weeks!!! Do WHAT!?!? I was NOT thrilled to hear that at all. However, for today.....I was just so thankful that it was over. I could finally relax and breathe.

They told me to be very careful with the markings and circular pieces of tape that they put in various places over the markings. When showering, I can only let soapy water run over my chest and underarm/side area. This was Wednesday....April 3rd and they told me that I would be called that Friday or Monday to tell me when I would come in to begin treatment, but should probably be a week from today. That would put me starting treatment on the 10th. YAY....I was excited to hear that because I am ready to get started!

Well, Tuesday, April 9th I received a call from Jessica. She told me that my radiation plan was very complicated and they would not be able to begin radiation this week. I was not happy to receive this message. I did NOT want a delay. I have not had any treatment to fight my cancer since January 23rd when I took my last Taxotere Chemo treatment. Of course, I had my double mastectomy on March 5th and had to recover from that. But, now it seems like time is slipping away and I need to be receiving treatment. 

The reason I am going to have to have radiation in both sides of my neck....in addition to the other....is just in case a cell or cells left the lymph nodes before they were removed....and headed upward. The delay is a concern to me, but I cannot do anything about it. She also asked about my marks and if they had faded a lot or not. She told me to call them tomorrow, Friday, and let them know if they had faded a lot and I will have to go in tomorrow and get new marks. 

When you are fighting a life-threatening disease, you quickly realize how little control you actually have in the process. Yes, we already know this; however, the reality is not nearly as deep or possibly life-altering until we find ourselves in the middle of the war. 

I am so thankful to be a believer with a strong faith! I canNOT fathom how some people travel this journey without God in their life. Not "superficially" have God in their life, but I mean REALLY have God in their life. He is my constant. He keeps me anchored in this turbulent storm. Jesus covers me and shelters me from satan's whispers as he wants to put fear in my soul. It takes so much strength, courage and perseverance to fight cancer and to win, but all of that is nothing unless it is bound to our Great Physician and Holy Creator. I know that God is leading and He has plans for my future. He WILL bless me with a complete earthly healing. I trust this and claim His healing everyday of my life. This too shall pass and I will be made new with a complete earthly healing.

No one, including God, ever promised us a life free from struggle and suffering. In fact, we are pretty much assured of challenges and obstacles. How would we ever grow and become stronger and more loving without them? Our character develops in trials as they help to mold and shape our personality. We are promised that every cloud comes equipped with a silver lining in the form of a powerful and profound life lesson. Although painful and trying to travel through these times, when the bad has passed....we can be grateful for what we have learned and thank God for carrying us through....leading the way....all the while walking by our side and coming behind us. He completely covers us!

"The Lord, your God, is in your midst, a warrior who give victory; he will rejoice over you with gladness, he will renew you in his love; he will exult over you with loud singing as on a day of festival." Zephaniah 3:17-18

Please continue to lift me by name before our loving and merciful Heavenly Father. He is listening and I know He is answering. I feel His presence with me everyday. Thank you all for walking this cancer journey with me. I love you all!

#GodisLeading   #BreastCancer  #DoubleMastectomy  #IBelieve

#BeatCancer  #GodisHealing  #PrayforaCure   #PrayerWarriors

#BilateralBreastCancer  #BreastReconstruction  

#HeProtectsMe   #WhereHeLeadsIWillFollow  

#GodisinControl #PrayingGrands   #GodisaGoodGod  

#PraiseGod   #ThankYouJesus

#Taxotere #MyGoalisCancerFree #MyCancerWarisOn  

#CrushingCancer  #CancerWillNotWin   #IAmBeingHealed  

#MyGoalisCancerFree  #Pulmonary  #Radiation