"God won't give you more than you can bear"....It's not in the Bible!

Often times we accept statements as truisms that are actually quite absurd.  We even do that in “church.” We come up with phrases that would make great bumper stickers or perhaps on refrigerator magnets and coffee mugs. They sound right, but they aren’t actually in the Bible. Example: “God helps those who helps themselves.” What book of the Bible would you find that? It doesn’t exist. “Everything happens for a reason.” Yes, but that can’t be found in a Bible verse and shouldn’t be used as a blanket statement appointing credit to God when bad things  happen.

We use many of these phrases with the best of intentions because we want to give comfort to those hurting and going through a tough season. That phrase has echoed in my mind for years, but one occasion especially back in December, 1995. My mom lost her mom and seventeen hours later, lost my dad. Both deaths were quite sudden and not expected. My mom’s words have forever resonated with me, “God will not put more on me than I can bear.” She had heard that over and over in her walk with Jesus, and like most…..she thought it to be a true statement straight out of the Scriptures. So many times I have seen families lose multiple children in automobile accidents and house fires…..while well-meaning people stand around telling them, “well, you know that God is not going to put more on you than you can bear.” A child battling cancer, a mom overwhelmed with breast cancer…..and there again, well-meaning people pass on the message, “well….at least, you know God will not give you more than you can bear.”  I recently heard this phrase again spoken again as though they were words straight out of the mouth of God. I knew then, I had to speak up and say something…..and this is my something.

When we tell people, “God won’t put more on you than you can bear,” we are trying to give comfort….but is that really a helpful thing to say…..and even more, is it a true thing to say? Even with well intentions, it sometimes comes across as….just power-up, deal, and just get through it….you should be able to handle this because “God isn’t going to put more on you than you can bear.” This familiar and well used “saying” comes from the text found in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” But what does this verse actually say? It tells us that there is always a way to get out of sinning. We cannot avoid temptation; however, we can always escape it because of our uniting with the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. There is no temptation test that is not within our possibility of passing.

The same Paul that said we don’t have to sin also told the same church that we might have to experience despair. In 2 Corinthians 1:8, Paul goes on to say, “We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it.” While sinning is ALWAYS an option…..not suffering is NEVER an option. There ARE times when we WILL be overwhelmed by life! This is strictly a result of living in a broken, fallen world in need of redemption. God DOES allow. He allowed the enemy to assault Job in a manner that was definitely overwhelming. In reading through the Psalms, you can see David go from the highest highs to the lowest lows….almost hearing him say, I can’t take it anymore. Most of us will go through a “more than we can handle” season in our life. Suffering is a given!

1 Corinthians 2:9 reads, “In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.” Our being in a season that is just too much can be a gift IF we rely on God…..it can force us to rely on God like never before. It is in our human nature to feel that we can handle anything, but desperate times makes us desperate for God. We can’t live on a mountain-top of highs because we start to believe that we can rely on our own abilities. We must have times of dwelling in the valleys. Paul exemplifies this in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9, “even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” “MY POWER WORKS BEST IN WEAKNESS.”

In the depth of the valley….we realize the depth of His amazing grace! We often pray to grow closer to Him, to get to know Him more, Lord, I want to feel Your power, I want our relationship to grow….but is that what we really want? Because, God’s power, God’s grace “works best in weakness.” We draw more dependent on Him when we are walking through the fire. Sometimes….no matter our lengthy and thought-filled prayers….nothing changes. We have to let go…really let go and even when the outcome is not what we want, we must still trust in Him. When we say we “can’t handle it any longer,” that is when we are at our weakest…..and through our weakness may we be a channel for His grace to flow through us and also out to others.

What happens in our valley dwelling? We learn to offer comfort to others as He has comforted us. 2 Corinthians 1:4 reveals, “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” Yes, we do experience times of “more than we can handle;” however, because of these seasons, we are able to exhibit His loving grace and comfort in a more real, honest way. Life can give us “more than we can handle,” but it can also teach us to rely on God. We can’t take away our scars, but we can use our stories for His glory. One day all of our suffering will be removed, but for now our suffering can be redeemed. When life is “more than we can handle,” His grace is more than we can imagine. That’s what the Bible says rather than the commonly used phrase so often tossed around. May each of us use our weakness to empower our witness. May we all rise to a new level of walking in grace.

Amen! †