CANCER: Always the Unexpected.....

"But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal (Natural, Earthly) bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you." - Romans 8:11

Take a close look at this Scripture. This is talking about your body that you and I have now, not the one we are going to receive one day in eternity! Notice that the will of the Lord IS to impart His resurrection life into our natural, earthly body as we place our faith in His finished work of the cross. Praise Him for this promise as you receive this as your very own.

My chemo appointment for this week was scheduled for December 18th at 12:45 pm. I thought that my routine would be my normal flow, but it was anything but the regular appointment.

I was called back to get weighed, blood pressure, and temperature taken. Then, I was hooked-up with the line to my port, had it flushed out, and had vials of blood taken. I showed my lab nurses pics of how the Taxotere had brutally burned my hands and feet and they were beyond shocked. They saw the condition that they are in now; therefore, I wanted to back up to two weeks ago and show them the onset. 

My lab nurse informed me that she would be taking additional blood. Dr. Bondly had told me during my last consultation that she was going to set me up for genetic testing. There is a "possibility" that I could have a gene that would predispose me to ovarian cancer. Therefore, Dr. Bondly had placed an order for the blood to be drawn for this purpose. I was also given some paperwork to complete that included family history and such and had to sign off on giving approval for this testing. The testing is outsourced to a company that specializes in this type of research. I was told it would most likely be several weeks before we receive the results. IF it shows that I am positive for this gene, then I will, in addition to the double mastectomy that I have coming up next year, have to have a hysterectomy. We are believing, praying, and standing with the conviction that the tests will be negative and no further surgery will be required. 

I am finally finished in the lab and go back to the waiting room to sit until my name is called to go see Dr. Bondly for a brief exam and consultation. I have several things that I want to discuss with her today, but am mainly hoping that my treatment plan is not going to be compromised because of the condition of my hands and feet. Ashleigh packed me a cooler bag of frozen ice packs for me to use on my hands and feet during my chemo this time. The Bruno Cancer Center had said they would provide them if I had a bad reaction....getting my hands and feet burned from the inside-out OR if I had the onset of neuropathy....however, we were not going to take any chances and brought our own. 

The wait wasn't too long and I was called back to an exam/consultation room. I put on my gown and eagerly waited to see Dr. Bondly. As soon as she came in, she looked at my hands and was not pleased with what she saw. She wanted to see the pics of my hands and feet that I had on my phone so she could see how badly I was burned. Although she sees many cases like mine, she was still taken back by the degree that I was burned; however, severe burning is one of the horrible side-effects of the chemo drug Taxotere. 

Dr. Bondly was most concerned, not by the peeling of my hands and feet, but "hot" spots of red, raw skin that was visible and very tender. She also went on the tell me that my blood numbers were not as good as they have been in the past prior to treatments. My numbers have always been excellent. She further told me that it appears my liver is not passing the chemo out of my body as quickly as it should. She is loaded with news that I really did NOT want to hear today. I wanted so much for it to be a "typical" chemo day and receive my chemo and white blood cell count injector....and go home. But, that wasn't going to happen today. In addition, I told her that the chemo....another side-effect of Taxotere....had given me cold symptoms and that I was having a horrible time with coughing and gagging, but I was also starting to spit up bits of cold from deep down. She was concerned about this as well. With everything I had going on Tuesday, she just was not going to let me have a treatment....not even a reduced dose treatment. I was so disappointed. However, I knew if I had a treatment and burned like I did last time....on top of what I am going through now with my hands and feet, it would be almost unbearable. As I started to tear up, I reminded her of a comment she had made to me a couple of times previously during consultations....IF my treatment had to be altered and my dosage reduced OR IF I had to miss a treatment, it could open up the chance of my cancer spreading. That was my huge concern about having to alter my plan at all in any way. Dr. Bondly told me again that, yes....that is a "possibility," however, very unlikely. Even with that possibility, in my current state, she could not give me a treatment today. She is concerned that with the condition of my hands and feet....especially my hands....that I could set up a serious infection that could potentially bring about further issues and set-backs. Plus, the burning on top of what I have going on now would just be too much. As disappointed as I am, I have to trust the decision of my Oncologist. And, even more than her decision....I have to believe that this is also in God's plan for my complete healing since He is leading my cancer journey toward total wellness. Dr. Bondly wrote me a prescription for Augmentin 875 to take twice a day for the next five days. This should help to clear up my cold and fight any infection in my hands. She moved my chemo treatment ahead to Wednesday, December 26th at 12:45 pm. In addition, she will be lowering my dosage. Nothing is ever set in stone, but when dealing with serious illness....things can become complicated quickly and plans can change immediately.

Some good news that came out of my time with Dr. Bondly today....she did a brief exam and was very pleased with the larger tumor on my right breast. It has continued to shrink. Usually after each treatment, the skin over it will flake and peel. That is a positive sign that the tumor is shrinking an pulling away from the outer skin. Two months ago it was a firey red "angry" cancerous tumor as my doctor called it, but today.....it is flat an smooth like a disk. Praise God! He is healing me step by step....day by day.  

Other blessings in the delay....Now, I will feel good for Christmas. I can go and enjoy our special Christmas program at church Sunday with my family. Maybe....just maybe....I will be able to eat some food that will taste good and not hurt so much. I will have more energy....I won't be burnt. YAY! God blessed me with this temporary delay for healing and for giving me a time of joy with my family at this very special time of the year. God is always so good to me!

On my chemo treatment days, God always blesses me with meeting some of the nicest people. I believe Miss Gwen was put in my life so that I could help to brighten her days, but today God gave me the most precious breast cancer patient to enhance MY life. In between my going in and out of lab, consultation, etc....I sat down by a beauty of around 70 years young. Her face beamed with inward beauty that shined through with a radiant glow. Her smiles simply lit her face up. We just seemed to click right off. She is a Christian and has been walking her faith journey with breast cancer for five years now. She is on medication that she will take for life. She was and is such an inspiration....a true warrior. We shared our stories and she has already survived some of the things that I have yet to experience... Her name is Gayle Davis and we are now Facebook friends. Please remember this precious soul in your prayers as her battle is ever ongoing. 

In the middle of our battle, God places so many strong, triumphant warriors who step in to encourage and lift us right where we are. I pray to be that for all who cross my path. No matter what we are experiencing in life, their is opportunity to share with others, to encourage, and to brighten the life of another. So many live their lives struggling through issues that burden them down and they feel hopeless.....because they don't know Jesus. We don't have to be forceful with words, but rather we can let the Light of Jesus shine through our loving compassion and tenderness with others. 

This is not a journey that will come and go quickly. It is a paced walk....not a race to be ran. There is much for me to learn, so much growing I have to do....and God is forging a greater purpose for my life. To Him be the glory through it all! 

On another note.....something to also pray for me about:
As many of you know, I have been a nanny to a little girl named Sadie. Sadie has been in our lives for 2 years now and she has been like part of our family. You always see her in pics when we take my grands places. Well, I had to make a tough decision after my appointment Tuesday. I am not going to be able to keep Sadie any longer. After treatments, there are so many days that I really just want to sit and cover up on the couch; however, I have continued to try to care for her. After I was burned so bad two weeks ago and knowing I will be burned again this next treatment and the future treatments....to some degree....I knew it was not fair to either of us for me to continue as her private caregiver. Not only will me and my family miss this sweet little girl, but keeping her was regular income for me. I really had to pray and step out on faith believing that I will be able to earn supplement income another way. On top of the regular cost of living....cancer is expensive! But, I am just not able at this time to give her the proper attention she deserves. I know that God WILL provide....He always has and I know that He will now also. But, please lift my financial concerns in your prayers. Dealing with a life-threatening illness is bad enough, but having to add the burden of the financial aspect to it just adds to the trauma.

I am going to add some pics at the bottom to remind y'all of what my hands looked like a week and a half ago and what they look like now.

As always, I appreciate every prayer that is lifted before our Father....calling out my name before His Throne for my healing. I feel each of your prayers. I know He is listening and I know He is healing me. He has great plans ahead for His daughter and I look forward to seeing what they are. Thank you all who brighten my life by sending me daily text messages, who send private encouraging messages through Facebook, and those who have sent and continue to send me the sweetest cards. You all enrich my life so much and uplift me more than you can imagine. I love you all! 

I am so proud of and grateful for my family who are walking this journey with me daily. They love me so beautifully and care for my every need. This has not been an easy transition for them, but they have been champs....even to my little grands. Today marks two months and ten days since I was diagnosed. It has been a whirlwind for all of us, but when something, like cancer, is trying to consume the life right out of your body....there is no time to stop and think about what is happening. You have to be extremely proactive and move rapidly to try to stop it from spreading further. I am so blessed and thankful that my family knows and loves Jesus so deeply. All of our faith is strong and that is where our strength and courage comes from. Satan will NOT defeat us in this trial! 

God is greater! God is leading! God is healing!

"Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth." 3 John 2

Please continue to lift me in your daily prayers. My journey in this battle is still very new and there is a lot of fighting yet to do.

Blessings to all of you for a very Merry and Blessed Christmas!

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